Tactical Execution

The session on social networking prompted me to look more deeply into using iTunes as another vehicle for providing though leadership about my prac­tice. I am seriously looking into this and planning to FINALLY actively use at least iTunes to get more visibility to the Bay Area Consulting Group LLC and our deep expertise in IT management.

Harry Chap­man, BACN founder

I learned that I had underestimated the power of YouTube and its rightful place at the Big Kids table of social media. It is in fact now part of the Big Four: Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn AND YouTube.

Kerry Rego, Kerry Rego Consulting

WOW! Patrick Schwerdtfeger presented a one-hour energy Social Media workshop packed with scores of tips and tricks to create social media success. He motivated me to take action and create Executive Coaching YouTube videos to attract more clients.

Dr. Maynard Brusman

Patrick did a great job of presenting the core information about Twitter, LinkedIn, Facebook, and YouTube. The material was all familiar to me, but I appreciated his arrangement of these four social networks as spokes around the hub of your blog. What stuck with me most was the advantage of going where your prospects already are, rather than struggling to build up traffic on your own website.

Sal­lie Goetsch, The Podcast Asylum

My take-away from Patrick’s lively, easy-to-follow presentation was his emphasis on the integration of social with your marketing strategy. I especially liked the tips on using YouTube. Very smart.

Susan Bercu, graphic design and illustration

The content of the presentation was thought-provoking and useful. The speaker was very knowledgeable, and I definitely intend to use the information to position and promote my business services in a more effective manner.

David Weissman, Bay Area Paralegal Services

Everything in the presentation seemed so practical that I wanted to learn it in a step-by-step process, so I bought Patrick’s book Webify Your Business. I particularly liked his approach which came from being self-taught — and convinced me that I could learn from him.

Alice Cochran, author of Roberta’s Rules

The one take-away I had was the “raging water” symbolism. It really does give justice to how viral and quick the pace of things in social media — and how you need to throw yourself into the water and go with the flow. I also liked his case studies, which really drove home his points.

Neil Schaeffer, Windmill Networking

Patrick’s enthusiasm and passion for social media tools are infectious. Many thanks to BACN for a wonderful presentation which has inspired me to ACT.

Yael Schy, Dra­matic Strides Consulting

I loved listening to Patrick. He’s a font of wisdom about social networking. I’m close to posting my first YouTube video and I got some great ideas about tagging.

Marla Rosner, Helping teams listen, learn, and lead.

What I liked about Patrick was that he comes to this stuff with the same skepticism as I do. He doesn’t preach, but rather shares his amazement that using Web 2.0 can actually be very helpful in establishing one’s personal visibility and respectability, and therefore ultimately one’s business. The credibility of his low-key, easy-going style made me want to look further into what he was telling us about – and buy his book!

Steven Tulsky, The Benemetrics Consulting Group

I have seen Patrick present twice live. He has excellent content as well as delivery. His presentations are well organized, captivating, pertinent and actionable.

Diane Beck

I have been to numerous workshops with Patrick and have read his new book, Webify Your Business from cover to cover. Using his tools and information, I have increased the traffic to my site and my blog. His information has always been very practical, useful and timely!

Diana Morgan

Patrick is a well informed speaker that has a deep knowledge of his subject matter and amazing delivery skills.

Rick Rochon

Patrick was AWESOME, I took well over 15 pages of notes. He was a plethora of useful, helpful information. He was well spoken & a great teacher & presenter. Look forward to future events & workshops

Colleen Perone

Patrick tells it like it is. His book ‘Webify Your Business’ is a down-and-dirty step-by-step practical guide for anyone who wants to get real with Social Media. Highly recommended.

Ian Griffin

Patrick is a wonderful, exciting, alive, fun, interesting speaker who happens to share a lot of excellent information within the Social Media realm. I heard him speak live and the entire audience was energized! I give him a two thumbs up!!

Leslie De Palo

Patrick’s presentations are always jam packed with TACTICS and TIPS you can take back to your office and apply to your business website or your social media strategy IMMEDIATELY. He is also a very good presenter and connects with his audience which puts every body on the edge of their seat waiting for the next NUGGET of info he is going to share with you.

Chrystal Bougon

I attended a workshop that Patrick led this past weekend. It was fantastic. He is an engaging workshop leader and has a tremendous knowledge and experience in social media. I learned so much and had fun, too!

Michaela Hayes

Patrick is simply amazing. He has significantly elevated the quality of a monthly meetup networking group that I have been attending since January 2009. We routinely have 50+ members and this group provides a forum for us to network and build relationships. Speakers are consistently good, and Patrick recently added a great new feature—a social media moment. He’s the expert and is great about sharing his knowledge; he is helping all of us learn to use this channel to monetize our businesses. I am also working my way through his book, Webify Your Business. This book is brilliant. Short, succinct chapters with action items at the end of each chapter. I refer my clients and colleagues to this book and tell them that if they work through this, they will understand how to leverage electronic delivery to grow their businesses.

Janet Peishel

Patrick is a master presenter/teacher: funny, super knowledgeable and has a unique ability to compress years of info into an informative, entertaining presentation that you can actually put into action!

Alison Bliss

I have attended one of Patrick workshop. It was GREAT. Full of information and ideas of how it can apply to my situation and get more opportunity.

Janet Fung

Patrick is fun, engaging, and full of great information. Check out his YouTube presentations, and you will get a sense of his talent and knowledge. I attended one of his fabulous workshops. Good handouts, great ideas, well presented and well sequenced presentation! Try it, you’ll like it!

Tara Martin-Milius

I have attended many functions where Patrick has presented and feel he is excellent. He possesses great knowledge on his subject matter and presents it in a way that is clear, concise and motivates me to take action. He is FULL of ideas around internet marketing, search engine optimization and getting your website in front of others using social media. I highly recommend Patrick.

Michael Waters

Patrick did an exceptional job presenting an incredibly generous amount of information. He made the steps for utilizing Social Media to promote my business very clear and do-able. I would highly recommend Patrick’s work!

Chris Arcucci

Patrick’s “Social Media Victories” was comprehensive, interesting, and delivered with passion. I walked away with a concrete plan that I began implementing within days of Patrick’s workshop. The information provided was so clear and so specific, anyone could take the content and be on their way to a massive internet presence.

Laurel Pine

I am a complete novice with social media. I saw Patrick at the Pleasant Hill Chamber Brown Bag Series and he spoke on Social Networking in a dynamic and thoughtful way that made me want to learn more.

Barbara Norris

Patrick is an exceptional presenter. The guy knows his stuff and he knows how to teach it so that you can understand it too. He’s also a real genuine and generous person that you can’t help but enjoy being around.

Kristen Mahoney

I have attended Patrick’s seminars and, then, had him as a featured speaker at an event I sponsored. He was a hit. He provides a lot of content in a very short period of time…and he does it authentically. He will be great.

Thomas Loarie

Patrick does a masterful job of taking the complexity of social media scope and breadth and breaking it into bite size pieces that event the technology novice can understand. Attending Patrick’s seminar will open your eyes to solutions behind doors you didn’t even know were there. The mantra of success in a complex technological world is simplicity. Patrick takes the complex and makes it approachable.

Michael Breen

Patrick is an excellent, knowledgeable speaker. I attended an all-day social media seminar and learned Twitter, Linked In and FB tricks that I hadn’t discovered on my own.

V Kam

Patrick has become a real powerhouse in the industry. His knowledge, business sense and genuine personality have put him on top. I have him coming up to Madison, WI. on October 14th to give a one day seminar. Anyone reading this should consider bringing him to your city also. But, book him asap as he’s already in high demand (and for a good reason!)

Jim Edwards

Patrick’s knowledge and presentation is exceptional. His topics cover real world solutions which can be applied immediately. Attending his seminars or seeing his speak is amazing and a must for any business, large or small.

John Padlo

I’ve attended Patrick’s presentations. His extensive knowledge of social media and its practical business benefits are impressive. His quality presentation/materials and generosity put him a cut above most people in this field.

Marty Silberstein

I’ve attended Patrick’s presentations. He has a wealth of knowledge about how to succeed in a web business. His business name “Tactical Execution” is perfect because he shows us techniques to use in every area to drive business to a web site. Tactics are critical to success, and Patrick can explain them clearly.

Steven Book

I have seen Patrick speak on a number of occasions. All the attendees I have spoken with came away with something to help them in this new world of Webifying Your Business.

Reisa Jaffe

I attended this workshop and immediately began to implement the strategies. Patrick ties the whole picture of social networking for business together in a way that makes the content accessible. His is simply the best presentation of this material I have found. And I had been looking – hard – for over a year. I highly recommend Patrick and believe his workshop would be a great addition to the program.

Amy Sluss

Patrick is an excellent presenter. His passion for social media is quite contagious. His content is thought provoking and integrated in a very easy-to-follow and logical format. He is definitely a rising international speaker on Social Media.

Brenda Horton

I have seen Patrick speak. His topics are informative and interactive. He is very passionate about the subject matter and it shows in his presentation.

Erica O’Leary

We have hired Patrick to speak at two of the organizations that I am involved and there was not one unsatified customer in the house. He is truly an expert in his field and extremely engaging as a speaker. Great choice!

Karla Garcia

I enjoyed Patrick’s seminar, “Webify Your Business, Internet Marketing Secrets for the Self-Employed.” Patrick is a very polished speaker. He is well-organized and concise; very personable and entertaining. He uses clear examples to help make sense of social networking.

Mitch Ashley

I’ve seen Patrick speak several times. He is consistently organized, clear and engaged with his audience. Always informative, frequently entertaining, Patrick delivers super relevant information and case studies that people can learn from and apply in their own business. SXSW attendees would be in for a treat!

Cheryl Liquori

Patrick has great material and presents it well.

Les Bain

Patrick is a great speaker – I’ve heard him several times. Always something new. Great audience rapport. Real passion for his topic. He’d be a great addition!

Walter Feigenson

I have heard Patrick speak. He is the best! He makes the hard easy to understand and is the clearest, most easy to listen to speaker you will ever hear.

Fred Sauberman

I am learning the true power of social media, and envision fantastic future exponential growth. The obvious is that great wealth will come if you position yourself properly now. Patrick has amazing amount knowledge with a deep understanding of to put it all together. I have rarely seen such in-depth knowledge and understanding of a subject matter by someone who also has the skill of wonderful presentation presence, teaching comprehensively and very plainly getting his points across. Patrick will draw a crowd, captivate the audience, and provide SXSW with great praise. Having Patrick in your corner at this stage will position you in front of the curve. Don’t miss this opportunity.

Dave Jackson

I’ve seen & heard Patrick just once, bought & read his book, checked out his website, and I plan to catch him at another seminar next month. He is very impressive — very well informed and up-to-date, a quick and effective teacher, an entertaining speaker, and his enthusiasm inspired the whole roomful of listeners, including the other speakers on the panel.

Robbie Schlosser

I’ve attended two of Patrick’s events and they were both excellent seminars. Patrick is a terrific speaker/presenter and a very helpful guy. His information is top rate and his style is friendly, professional and easy-going, with lots of opportunities for audience interaction and questions. He has a lot to offer and you would do well to include him in your program.

Karil Daniels

I am Patrick’s biggest fan! I stumbled onto his website quite by accident about a year ago. I signed up for his 52-week e-course and am loving it! Since signing up for the course he has compiled the information into a book “Webify your Business–Internet Marketing Secrets for the Self-Employed”. The book is awesome!!! Although due to proximity issues I have never personally attended an event where Patrick was speaking, I have listened to podcast and watched video clips of him. Patrick would make a great addition to your conference.

Cathleen Hoffman

Patrick is a dynamic speaker and I have thoroughly enjoyed and found quite useful his book about webifying your business. I highly recommend him.

Robert Burpee

Patrick is a very fun, exciting and knowledgeable presenter. He has great insight and loves to share.

Freda Jackson

I have attended several of Patrick’s seminars and workshops including one at Blue Shield of California. He is one of the most knowledgeable and passionate speakers on social media. He has motivated me to launch new endeavors for my own business’ online presence. Patrick has helped me immensely in setting up blogs and websites and developing a following. His knowledge of his subject matter is always current and at the cutting edge. I highly recommend him as a speaker.

Philip Lee

I have know Patrick for years and still feel the electricity around me from knowing him and the knowledge he brings to the table. He bring to the table, what you need to better understand the world of social media. Terrific speaker and a great motivator for your future.

Marvin Baida

Excellent presenter with priceless content. I make it a point to see him when his presents in my area. You won’t be disappointed!

Lisa Lane

Tons of great content presented today. My head is spinning with the possibilities for not only marketing my own business, but also how to tap into the new social media marketplace for clients. I’m actually changing the focus of my business as a result of the information I learned today. Thank you, Patrick!

Elizabeth Rajs

Patrick, you did an awesome job! I believe I am probably as excited about social media as you are, and therefore it was so difficult not to be able to interact with you during the filming. All I could do was nod all day. Judging by the title of this seminar, I was afraid we would only hear about how companies have used social media. I was delighted to find full step-by-step instructions for the beginning and intermediate marketer brought to live by examples of how companies and individuals have used it instead. After such a successful seminar, I know the product will be excellent too and I would definitely recommend it. Good luck!

Biggi

Patrick is an excellent presenter & a plethora of useful information. He went over Social Media thoroughly & highlighted every important detail & gave a plan for action to start immediately. Overall, I learned exactly what I went to learn & am very thankful to have been provided the necessary tools to start our massive internet identity campaign.

Colleen Perone

Wow, so much valuable content! And the price, can’t beat it! You really helped me to understand the true power of social media & how quickly you can connect with people all over the world. Also, busted the myth I had with regard to how much time I would have to devote to this new form of marketing ongoing.

Robin Upton

Fantastic, full of great information with real examples.

Donna

This training is first rate. I will use the twitter/linkediN/facebook/uTube material, absolutely. Some of the tips and tricks made me laugh, they were so powerful. I’m very experienced with high tech and websites, but I have zero marketing experience. Now I know where I want to start and I’m planning to blog and create video. It’s a little frightening but it always is when my business is growing. I’m stepping outside of my comfort zone with the video, for sure.

Cate Gandrud

Incredibly valuable information! Your business should improve dramatically with this approach. If you don’t know how to use social media and social networking, this class (or the DVD set of the class) is a must. Publish or perish takes on new meaning here! Patrick is an expert who is practical, tactical and engaging!

Tara Martin-Milius

Patrick completely over-delivered! An amazing amount of content, delivered in a way that made it all seem completely doable! Patrick – You rock my social media world!

Debra Russell

I really appreciated the way that Patrick delivered the content in an effective, informative and fun way. Patrick has a natural ability to connect to his audience.

Kasey Brown

Excellent presentation. The material was very useful and Patrick gave a clear presentation. I was greatly impressed and it was well worth my time!

Rebecca Zuckerman

Patrick is real, fun, and he more than delivers. I got tons from his presentation. I plan to put it to use! Thanks Patrick for your generosity and wisdom.

Ruth Kellogg

Material was well organized, well presented and very informative. Great balance between theory and practical application. Loved the personal lessons learned. Would definitely recommend this workshop to anyone interested in using social media to build awareness for their business or not-for-profit organization.

Kathie Ketels-Lichtig

I got so much information my brain is on overload! I wish there would have been more time for questions, but I realize this was for a DVD filming so that wouldn’t have worked.

John DeKoven

A blitz kreig of outstanding information delivered with a sense of humor. People’s lives were changed today.

Mike Consol

Patrick delivered a HUGE amount of valuable content that has me inspired to finally embrace social media to grow my business! I previously felt so overwhelmed and unsure of how to manage it all, and Patrick has laid out a clear, accessible, integrated system to not only participate efficiently but extremely effectively as well! Thanks for sharing Patrick, your passion and expertise are greatly appreciated!

Beth Allen

It’s great to be in a group of business owners — the energy is good and it’s great to be able to meet others who are eager to make a business work and share. It’s especially wonderful to have those like Patrick share their expertise. It gave me a lot to think about and aspire to.

Patricia Swanson

informative, entertaining and provided real solutions that individuals can implement

Michael Breen

The session was fantastic. Patrick is very engaging and knows a great deal about the topic. I learned a lot. Patrick has a great presentation style. The pace was good. He presented a wealth of information in an easy-to-follow and understand manner. He made the information relevant and gave us a work plan for how we can engage in an integrated social media campaign in a practical manner without an excessive amount of work. He also told us how we can measure the impact of our social media campaigns and determine if we are meeting our goals. All-in-all, a remarkable workshop!

Michaela Hayes

It was engaging, packed with useful content, entertaining and very informative. Patrick has a knack for keeping the group engaged with his warm personality and expertise. This was a 7 hour class – not your usual meetup. His treatment of the material was so accessible and interesting, that the time just flew by. Highly recommended!

Christie

One of the best workshops I have even taken. Excellent, timely and critical content… truly like drinking water from a fire hose!

Kian Nobari

Informational. Insightful. Helped me to get a bigger picture of what is happening in the media networking avenues/social networking, and possibilities within the field. The presenter was clear in his points and delivery. Opportunity to meet others. I am grateful for the opportunity to have the experience. I think it will serve me as I go forward in my entrepreneurial activities.

Victoria Bianco

Patrick is fantastic and his material is accessible, and well organized and paced. In addition to the material, he gave participants some great suggestions to get started to take action. His approach and tone is open and comes form a place of service versus ego. He normalizes the experience of being a web/info immigrant and gives participants many ways to jump in and get their feet wet. He has an appealing manner for presenting- knowledgeable and self-effacing in a good way. Bonus: his charm and good looks.

LeAnne

Fascinating. Turns out, I am exactly 2,000 weeks old today. I have lived exactly 14,000 days. I guess it’s a milestone of sorts. There’s really no reason for this post except to mark the occasion here on my blog with a permanent reminder of this day. It’s beautiful and sunny here in Walnut Creek, perfect weather for such a special day. For those of you who have lived less than 2,000 weeks, I’m jealous. For the rest of you, I’m catching up!

All of us here today have a Dad. For many of us, our Dads have passed on and for others, they are still with us. But we all have a Dad. My name is Patrick and Charles Schwerdtfeger is my Dad. He’s the only Dad I have and on Tuesday afternoon at 1:45, he passed away.

My Dad died surrounded by his family. As he took his last breath, I was holding his right arm and my mother was holding his right hand. My sister was holding his left arm and my brother was holding his left leg. And Ben, one of the incredible caregivers that have been helping my parents, was holding his right leg.

I have a number of things I’d like to share with you today and am very grateful for the opportunity to do so. But even though I’m the one who’s up here today, I’m speaking on behalf of my whole family.

Let me begin by thanking all of you for being here today. My two sisters, Annette and Denise, are here with their families. My brother, Tom, is here with his wife, Jennifer.

My Dad’s brother, Paul, is here with his wife, Mimi. My Dad’s two sisters, Susan and Louise, are here. For Louise, this was her first trip to the west coast and her first time in Canada. She came here today for my father.

We have been very fortunate to have wonderful caregivers helping my parents for the past two years. Ben is here with his family, Lalie is here and Evelyn, a girl who worked with my parents more than a year ago, is here as well. Evelyn is nine months pregnant and is due any time but she is sharing this day with us.

And there are friends here from MacKenzie Place, the walking group, the church choir, the Physics Department at UBC, Crofton Manor and a variety of other groups my parents participated in. Your presence here today is special for my Mom, it’s special for me, and it’s special for my Dad.

During these past few days, one of the most difficult things for me has been to listen to the different ways people say good-bye to my Dad. All of you had different experiences with my Dad. All of you have different memories of him.

I can never speak to all of your memories. I can only speak to my own. But by listening to all of your good-byes, I see the many ways my Dad touched other people’s lives. And to see all of you sitting here today makes me so proud to call him my Dad.

My Dad never said very much, yet he touched so many people’s lives. He never showed off despite building his career from the ground up and securing a comfortable life for his family. He never complained – not even once – as he struggled with his crippling Parkinson’s disease. And perhaps most amazing of all, he never lost his sense of humor amidst extremely difficult circumstances.

Today, his struggle is over and he can finally rest in peace. It is now up to us to carry his beautiful spirit forward.

My Dad was kind and gentle and even in the hardest times, had more dignity than anyone I have ever known. Even from a distance, people knew quickly that he was a truly good person. For me, my dad is a Quiet Hero.

Since we all shared moments with my Dad at different times of his life, I’d like to share some brief history so you can all get an idea of how his life unfolded.

My Dad is a pretty smart guy and he knew at a young age that his intellect would take him far. He had a vision of the life he wanted and was 100% determined to get it. And he got it. He took jobs in the iron works, among other places, to pay for his education. He never asked for help from anyone.

After completing his PhD in Physics, he went to Switzerland for his post-doc. During the preparations for that trip, he corresponded with the secretary of the head of the Physics Department in Basel; a young woman who later became my Mom.

About a year ago, I asked my Dad about the first time he met my Mom. I asked him what he noticed first about her. He said a few things and tried to make it sound meaningful and significant. But eventually, he just shrugged his shoulders and said simply, “I thought she was really cute.” That’s meaningful enough for me, Dad.

Three days ago, I asked my Mom about the same topic. She told me that my Dad’s first question of her when he arrived was if she knew a Catholic church he could attend while in Switzerland. She responded that she was Catholic herself and that they could go together. And although she didn’t admit it to me, I suspect she thought my Dad was pretty cute too.

My Mom and Dad went to church together often and would take walks through a nearby park afterwards. Dad was fascinated with my mother’s cultured European upbringing and told her about his own life in America. My Mom tells me Dad made it clear he wanted to get closer to her but also described him as the most polite and respectful man she had ever met.

He was soon introduced to my Mom’s parents and impressed my grandfather because – get this – they were standing on a patio on a cloudy evening and there was a small break in the clouds and one star was shining through. As an avid astronomer, my Dad knew exactly which star it was and told my grandfather. He couldn’t believe it. Neither can I.

My Mom told me Dad was exceedingly polite and dignified whenever they spent time together and she was impressed with him from the start. My Mom and Dad got married and soon moved back to the states and then on to Canada. My Dad was a Solid State Physics Professor at UBC.

He never talked much about his work. In fact, he rarely spoke about himself at all. My understanding of his work came when my oldest sister, Annette, took one of his physics courses. She told us many times how clear and patient he was with his students. At the time, it surprised me. Today, I couldn’t imagine him any other way.

Growing up, my Dad was always the voice of reason. He didn’t say much but what he said was important. When there were difficult situations, my Dad was the one who took care of it. When emotions ran high, it was my Dad who brokered the ceasefires. If my Mom got worried or upset, it was my Dad who calmed her down. And if one of us screwed up, it was my Dad who set us straight.

He was a problem solver. He fixed things. He got things done.

One time, after getting his finger caught in a car door and ending up with a painful blood blister under his fingernail, he took me downstairs to the workshop and turned on the big drill press. He put his own finger on the platform and drilled a small hole in his fingernail to relieve the pressure.

It seemed he had no fear. He was always in control over his emotions. I’ve never seen him lose his temper. I’ve never heard him yell and up until his Parkinson’s disease, I had never seen him cry. His patience and steady temperament made him the perfect husband and companion for my Mom.

My Mom and Dad love each other in the truest sense of the word. They are completely devoted to each other and I believe that the successful marriages my brother and two sisters have found for themselves are, at least in part, influenced by the example set by my parents.

I’d like to tell you about a few things my Dad enjoyed in his life. I think he was happiest raking leaves and trimming the dahlias in the yard. He always took great care of our garden and lined each individual area with flowers. My Mom always said our backyard looked like a park.

He enjoyed his miniature trains. He would set them up every year at Christmas time, complete with a miniature town for the trains to run through. Later, with his passion for electronics, he dismantled a Commodore Vic-20 computer and used the processor inside to automate those little trains.

In fact, we kids all remember Herbie, a little robot my Dad built when we were young. He did it for fun. That’s what he called fun. I think it’s when building your own robot is “fun” that you realize you’re dealing with someone special.

And of course, my Dad loved the stars. One of the things my grandfather was most impressed with was that my Dad ground his own mirrors for a telescope he built himself while in high school. In our family, August 6th was always an important day because that’s the peak of the annual meteor shower and we would lie out in the grass on those warm summer nights waiting to see shooting stars.

My Dad loved Star Trek and James Bond movies. All those electronic gadgets, combined with his knowledge of physics and astronomy was an irresistible combination for him and we all knew, as kids, that we could stay up late when 007 was on TV.

And as a graduate of Notre Dame, my Dad was a big Joe Montana fan and I grew up watching American NFL Football on Sunday afternoons. We would sit in the TV room and watch the San Francisco 49ers with a bowl of peanuts and a Coors Light. We would say almost nothing for 3 hours. Those are some of my best memories.

Perhaps most of all, my Dad’s sense of humor lasted until his last days. Despite incredibly difficult circumstances, my Dad always had something clever to say. Even near the end when it was difficult for my Dad to speak, I would struggle to understand his words only to realize he was trying to tell a joke.

In so many ways, my Dad was an incredible man. And now, he is no longer with us. But I assure you he’s gone only in body.

I look at my oldest sister, Annette, and I see his modest and unassuming demeanor. Annette and her husband, Clement, are doing extremely well and are building a beautiful family together, but Annette never shows off. That’s my Dad’s humble confidence shining through.

I look at my second sister, Denise, and I see his methodical and pragmatic approach in life. Denise sets her sights on a target and always follows through. That’s my Dad’s logical and deliberate nature one generation removed.

I look at my brother, Thomas, and I see the complete absence of baseless fears and anxiety. To Tom, all problems are simple problems and he tackles each one without hesitation. My Dad was the exact same way.

And I look at myself and I see my Dad’s stubborn determination to live his own life. Dad, just like you, I am chasing my dream and I promise, Dad, I promise that I’ll create it for myself, just like you did before me.

And there are so many others among us who were inspired by the way he lived his life and his courage as it came to an end, and who now carry his spirit with them.

So my Dad may have passed away earlier this week but I know his legacy will live on. You are a part of us, Dad. You have given us something to live up to. You have set an example of kindness, patience and courage.

Dad, I love you. We all love you. Thank you for being who you are. Thank you for being my Quiet Hero. And thank you for being an amazing Dad.

Well, I’m finally home. I was up in Canada for 19 days and spent most of it coordinating a move for my aging parents from the hospital to Crofton Manor, a seniors living facility in Vancouver, Canada.  My sister, Denise, flew in as well and we worked through the process together. The pictures lining the left-hand side of this post are in chronological order.  They begin with my sister sewing identification labels on all the linens at the house.  From there, we got things ready for the move, had the movers come in, got everything moved into the nursing home and then finally transferred my parents from the hospital to their new home.  Here’s the full story. My father has Parkinson’s disease and has been in the fight of his life for the past four years now.  Last year, things took a turn for the worse and his mobility is now quite limited.  He also has a difficult time communicating – an extremely frustrating reality for a retired quantum physics professor.  He’s a smart guy but he can’t get the words out. My mother had a brain tumor in 1997 and finally got it removed in 1999.  Unfortunately, we all suspect the surgery didn’t go that well and she has struggled ever since with hissing in her head and mounting confusion.  Today, she has Alzheimer’s disease with dementia and struggles with all the changes taking place as a result of her (and my Dad’s) aging. Since August 2007, my parents have had 24-hour in-home care and that has helped them deal with all the medical requirements that have become part of their daily lives.  But it hasn’t been easy.  The careworkers represented a major intrusion into their privacy and my mother, in particular, was upset about their involvement. The 11 months of homecare were marked with almost unbelievable stories of physical accidents, frustration and confusion.  It was becoming clear that the medical realities my parents were struggling with were making regular living almost impossible. In late June 2008, the public health system in Canada determined that it wasn’t safe in the house anymore and transferred them to the hospital for a formal assessment.  After a few days, it became clear they would be healthier and happier in a nursing home and my sister and I made plans to fly into Vancouver to help with the move. I arrived on July 15th and my sister arrived on the 17th.  In between our daily visits to the hospital, we began organizing the house and preparing for the move.  My parents have a lot of antique furniture and beautiful old paintings so much of the focus was on the selection process – deciding what to bring and what to leave behind. The daily visits were also very important.  The locked ward my parents were in was a challenging place, full of patients all struggling with their own psychological problems.  Although my mother had made friends, they were both very eager to get out of there.  I don’t blame them.  The days drifted by slowly for them and we were all looking forward to walking out of there as a family. On two different occasions, I took my Dad to the house while my sister kept my mother company at the hospital.  It was important for him to be involved in the process and go through some of the papers that had accumulated on his desk.  It had been very difficult for him to keep up on everything but he was aware of a lot of details we had no idea about.  It was also an opportunity for him to say good-bye to the house. The job of going through all the receipts, documentation and unopened mail was daunting.  We literally found bags of un-opened mail and my sister continues to work on that job.  Amongst the monthly statements and unpaid bills, we found five undeposited checks totaling almost $13,000.  The money came from their investment accounts, pensions and tax refunds and the largest check had already expired. Once we started getting a handle on the situation, the selection process went fairly smoothly.  My sister measured out a detailed floor plan and we marked in every piece of furniture we wanted and where it would go.  By the end, we had a detailed list of items to be moved. The movers showed up on July 22nd.  They were excellent.  They showed up and got straight to work.  With a couple minor stumbling blocks, we got everything into the truck and drove up the road (less than a mile) to Crofton Manor.  There was another truck there at the same time, moving in some other resident but we got a parking spot fairly close to the door and started moving stuff in. My sister and I were there much of the day but went back to the house for dinner.  After getting our grub on, we drove back to the nursing home and stayed there late into the evening.  We were hoping to get everything ready but it was just too much to do.  We went back to the house and decided to come back the following morning, before picking up my parents at the hospital. In the morning of July 23rd, we had to do some grocery shopping to stock the place for my parents regular living requirements.  But after that, things went quickly.  We put up the remaining pictures and fined-tuned the layout.  It really looked good, like a dollhouse version of their previous life.  All the important things were there and the pictures were hung in the same configuration as the house. We left Crofton and went straight to the hospital, arriving about 10:30.  The nurses had already helped my parents pack their things so we were out the door within about 30 minutes.  We couldn’t carry everything in one load so I made arrangements to come back again in the afternoon.  But the important things fit – my Mom and Dad. The drive from the hospital to the nursing home took just 15 minutes but felt like a world away, especially for my Mom.  By the time we arrived, she thought we were in Switzerland, her home country.  It took her a few days to get oriented in the new place but she was definitely a lot happier than she was in the hospital. My parents were happy with the work my sister and I had done but there was definitely some sadness in the air.  My Dad knew the house was now a thing of the past and had to take some time to get used to the new environment.  But the furniture and paintings brought the feeling of ‘home’ to this new place in a remarkable way. Lunch was being served almost as soon as we got there so we had to rush to get down there on time.  We arrive at 12:45 and lunch officially ends at 1:00.  It takes my Dad a long time to eat and we stayed until after 2:00.  The staff was very accommodating but it become clear already that my Dad’s eating patterns would likely become a problem. As it turns out, my parents would later have their meals transferred to the “care side” of Crofton Manor.  The good news was that my father would no longer be rushed through his meals but my mother didn’t like the new environment at all. The “independent living” dining room was larger and more elegant.  The people had fewer medical challenges and interacted more with each other.  On the care side, the interactions were heavily influenced by the medical conditions of the people who live there.  In particular, the other dementia patients made conversations difficult. It may sound strange to hear that other dementia patients were frustrating my mother, a dementia patient herself.  There’s a reason.  My mother has no idea she’s sick.  That’s the whole point behind Alzheimer’s.  You forget stuff.  You forget that you have a problem.  You might be completely confused but just seconds later, you forget and still think you are perfectly normal. Alzheimer’s is a tragic disease.  It reduces those affected to rubble.  They quite literally go crazy but have no idea it’s happening.  Meanwhile, the efforts of those trying to help are perceived as threats and Alzheimer’s patients often believe a giant conspiracy surrounds them and everyone is against them.  That has been the case for my mother and she has already tried to ‘divorce’ her kids (including me and my sister) and change the will.  She absolutely can’t accept that we are helping, not hurting, her situation. It’s important to acknowledge that my parents’ four-week stay in the hospital allowed the medical community to calibrate her medications and she is now far calmer than she was before.  That makes life much more pleasant for my Dad and has allowed this transition to a nursing home to go far smoother than I had originally expected. Another development has gone in our favor.  My mother has had swollen feet for most of her adult life but the condition has become much worse in the recent time and she now has open sores on her ankles, one on each foot.  The public health system sends a nurse in every two days to change the dressing. This wasn’t the first time my parents received such care.  My father had severe bed sores on his heels from his month-long stay in hospital last year.  The sores became infected and that infection ended up getting right into his bones.  At that point, things became critical and nurses were coming in regularly to change his dressing and give him heavy-duty intravenous anti-biotics. The difference is that it was now my Mom getting the care.  All this time, she has always believed that the only one requiring care was my Dad.  That’s not true.  She needs care as much or even more than he does.  And even though the care she is getting relates only to her ankles, she is seeing that she needs support as well.  That’s changing her perspective a bit and helping in other areas. After my parents finally moved into the nursing home, my sister and I had more time to address smaller details.  We went shopping and got my Mom some specialty wide shoes, made specifically for older people with circulation problems.  My Mom says they look like nuns’ shoes but they take some of the pressure off her feet and make it less painful for her to walk. There were a number of other smaller requirements.  Although we had brought a ton of stuff, there were still a lot of things that needed to come in.  My sister maintained a long list that we constantly added things to and crossed things off of.  Whether it was diapers for my father or a large garbage container we could discard them into, my sister and I went back and forth from one store to the next, trying to get all the things they needed. Of course, there was also the phone and internet connections.  We probably waited too long to get that part organized and my parents were left without phone service for the first three days.  And although I’m embarrassed to admit it, my Dad’s internet connection is still not working.  We have a technician coming in on Monday to change that.  But the nice thing is that they still have the same phone number and email addresses. It’s important to mention that my parents are NOT flying solo in this place.  They are on the independent living side of the facility – something neither of them qualify for.  We agreed to it because it was the only opening they had and Crofton was one of the only places that would accept my parents together.  Most of the other places would require they sleep in separate rooms and that would be a disaster for them. There was another consideration.  Crofton Manor is well known as one of the nicest senior living facilities in the Vancouver area and it’s located less than a mile from my parents’ old house.  It’s the same neighborhood and their church is only about two blocks away.  Getting them into Crofton was a blessing. Anyway, my parents didn’t quality for independent living but the management agreed to it as long as we maintain ongoing private homecare within their senior living facility.  So we have a team of workers that come into the nursing home and help my parents through the day.  The only time they are left alone is during the night. The arrangement also puts my parents on the waiting list for a spot on the care side.  That’s where the story takes a turn for the worse.  After all the effort we’ve put into this move, it’s really sad to think they might need to move again soon.  The rooms on the care side are much smaller than those on the independent living side and some of the furniture pieces would have to be taken out. My sister and I are both really disappointed that this will be happening.  It also presents a challenge because one of us will likely be needed to help with that transition.  It’s just not easy for us to leave everything and run up to Vancouver every other month.  As it turns out, I’ll be up there for the 2008 Internet Marketing Conference in September so I may be able to help out, but still.  It’s an ongoing distraction and we see no end in sight. Personally, I am starting to feel like my parents could stay in the independent living side as long as we keep the care in place.  Is it more expensive?  Absolutely.  But my parents were lucky with their investments and there is enough money to pay for it.  Besides, they are already eating on the care side so they are receiving some of the benefits already. That leads to another important topic: cost.  A lot of people believe that Canada has socialized medicine so all this care is covered by the government.  Nothing could be further from the truth.  There’s no question that Canada has a good national healthcare system but they do a financial assessment before they pay for anything and if you have money of your own, they don’t cover much. The nurses that come into their home to change dressings are indeed covered and I have nothing but good things to say about them.  They do an excellent job.  Also, my parents’ stay at the hospital didn’t cost anything and they were in there for four full weeks.  But the homecare is a different story. The homecare has ranged in price dramatically.  For the first few months, we hired workers privately and registered my father as a business in Canada.  We had to pay all the necessary taxes and benefits but the cost was only about $7K per month. As I mentioned earlier, my mother had a hard time accepting the care workers and tried multiple times to kick them out of the house.  Finally, on her seventh attempt, she succeeded and we hired a professional homecare company to provide the service.  That increased the monthly bill to almost $18K. Now that they’re in the nursing home, the homecare is back down to about $8K but that’s in addition to the $6K monthly fee to be a resident in the facility.  So we’re still around $14K per month.  This stuff is not for the faint of heart.  It costs a ton of money. Indeed, if my parents had no money, the public health system would take care of it.  But it would be a very different service level.  There’s no way they would be in Crofton, that’s for sure!  Instead, they would be in a public facility and I suspect it wouldn’t be nearly as nice. Anyway, everything has worked out fairly well and I’m absolutely trilled to be home.  Before I left Canada, I drove my father’s Toyota Corola to Edmonton to give my brother, Tom.  He and his wife, Jennifer, just moved there from Toronto and could use a second car.  Since my parents have both lost their driver’s licenses, it made good sense to let my brother benefit from having one of them. The drive to Edmonton is 13 hours long.  Beautiful but long.  I was planning to do the drive in two days but the cheapest place I found in Jasper was $170 for the night and I only had another four hours to get to Edmonton.  I decided to do it all in one run and finally arrived at my brother’s place at 1:00 in the morning, just in time for a cold beer! I stayed in Edmonton for three days and flew home last Sunday evening.  Now, it almost feels like a dream.  With any luck, things will continue to go smoothly for my parents.  I’ve got my fingers crossed.  And for the rest of us, I suggest we try to live each day to the fullest.  Getting old sucks.  And although some people have active lucid lives until they’re 95 years old, most don’t get so lucky. My primary reason for writing this post was to have a convenient way to share all these photos with my siblings.  Yet, I know many people who might stumble on it will not be family.  If you are one such visitor, you have just received a first-hand glimpse at my family situation.  Please respect that.  And if you have any comments or suggestions, please use the contact form (rather than the comments below) to send them to me privately.